


The Magnificent Mario Kart Experience

by TheSoulGiver



Series: Recreational Avengers [3]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Mario Kart, Steve doesn't know how to use a wii remote, a little Clintasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoulGiver/pseuds/TheSoulGiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has yet to completely recover from the events of their kayaking trip, and Natasha resorts to desperate measures to try to help him recover - which, of course, calls for a Mario Kart tournament. The intensity rises as the Avengers battle for first place and Steve struggles with the ways of twenty-first century entertainment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Natasha crept hesitantly into the darkened kitchen.  Tablecloths hung over the large windows, blocking the sunlight and rendering the room was almost entirely pitch black.  It took her eyes several moments to adjust to the intense darkness before she saw what she was looking for.  Maybe if she was really, _really_ , quiet, it would work this time...

Natasha tiptoed over to the corner, careful not to let her feet so much as squeak on the shiny linoleum.  She was only steps away from making her move.  She paused several feet before the counter in the corner of the room, which held a microwave, some hi-tech coffee machine, and a huddled figure wrapped in tattered fabric, its face buried in shadows.

Tasha paused, taking a silent, deep breath before calling out as softly as she could.

"Hey, Clint."

The figure did not stir.  It was sitting in what looked like a nest of threadbare tablecloths and dish towels, wedged between the wall and the microwave and hunched under the cabinets.

"It's me, Tasha," she said, a little louder this time.  The figure's head lifted infinitesimally before dropping back down to rest its chin on its chest.  He still didn't reply.

"Just thought I should check up on you," Natasha said, moving closer to peer tentatively at Clint's immobile figure.  There were several long moments before Clint finally spoke in a low voice, devoid of all emotion.

"I am a broken man, Natasha."

Natasha sighed softly, stepping forward until she was standing at the edge of the counter, resting one hand a few inches away from Clint's foot.

"You're not _broken._   You just need to get back out there and try to move on from this."

Clint raised his head just enough so he could look at her with wide, expressionless eyes.

"I cannot move on from this.  How can I pretend that this never happened?  I let my guard down for just a moment, and they got through, they _changed_ me..."

"Clint, you do realize that this 'they' we are talking about is a flock of mallards, don't you?" Tasha interrupted.

" _They know my weaknesses_ ," he whispered furtively, eyes wide.

Natasha finally had it.

"Okay, that is _it_ ," she said sharply, reaching forward and grabbing Clint's arm, pulling him roughly off of the counter, which sent him nearly tumbling to the floor if it hadn't been for her vice-like grip on his bicep.

"Hey!" he protested as he stumbled, his numb legs struggling to keep him upright, the blood just beginning to flow back into them after several days curled up in a nook on a kitchen counter.

Natasha spun on her heel, backing Clint up against the island counter in the center of the kitchen and scowling fiercely.

"I have been worrying my ass off about you for _days_ , while you just _sat_ there and sulked in your _nest_ \- I bet you didn't even _think_ of me - "

Natasha backed off, fuming, but Clint stood frozen to the spot in alarm.  Tasha looked back up at him, eyes still blazing.

" _You_ are going to go take a shower, and change out of those," she said firmly, but with far less terror in her voice, wrinkling her nose at the t shirt and sweatpants that Clint had probably been wearing for the past several days.  " _I_ am going to go talk to Tony about a cure, for...for whatever _this_ is."

"A _cure_?" Clint squeaked, and Natasha paused on her way out of the kitchen.  She turned in the doorway to glance back at him and smirked.

"I think a little Mario Kart should do it, don't you?"


	2. Round 1

Natasha had JARVIS summon the whole group from whichever corners of the mansion they were in, as opposed to spending all day trying to locate them and then losing the rest of them along the way.  She had learned her lesson the first time.

Having done this, she walked into one of Tony's game rooms, the chosen area of their meeting, ten minutes later.  It was a high-ceilinged room with the shiny wood floors covered in plush carpets, squashy couches, and nearly a whole wall taken up by a huge television screen that stretched from ceiling to floor.  Shelves on the opposite wall held what seemed to be every gaming system ever created, with special drawers to hold all of the games.

All of the Avengers were there (except Tony, but Natasha couldn't remember the last time he hadn't made an intentionally fabulous entrance), reclining on the furniture with their feet up on coffee tables and chatting.  There was, however, an unexpected guest, who was sitting in one of the armchairs as if it were a throne, even though he was being ignored by everyone.

“Why is _he_ here?” Natasha grumbled, walking over and collapsing onto the couch next to Clint.

“Thor couldn’t find a babysitter,” Tony said in a bored voice as he flounced into the room, pressing a couple of buttons on the wall before sinking royally onto the sofa.

"It's wonderful to see you, too," said Loki from his armchair-throne.

"What made _him_ king of the world?" grumbled Natasha, and Steve glanced at Loki out of the corner of his eye.

"For one, he was literally a prince.  On the other hand, Loki has Anti-Social Personality Disorder, which is marked by his complete lack of sympathy for other human beings, and his belief that he is the most important person in the world.  Well, worlds," Steve explained.  "Luckily, it's a mild case, and it manifests itself largely as him pretending he's king of both Earth and Asgard."

"Enough with the psychology, Rogers!  We're here to engage in a gruesome battle for honor, not impress our colleagues with the Community College classes we've been taking on the weekends," interrupted Tony, walking back to the couch and throwing himself on the middle of it, landing partially on top of both Bruce and Peter, who grudgingly squirmed aside to make room for him.  "JARVIS, turn on the N64."

"I am sorry sir, but your modifications will take another six hours to complete," came JARVIS's level reply from invisible speakers.  "However, the Wii version is completely modified and can be available in 4.2 seconds."

"Yeah, okay, fine.  I guess we can do the Wii version," said Tony, somewhat reluctantly.  He began pulling white Wii remotes out of the bottom drawer of the coffee table and tossing them to various people.  "First round will be me, Steve, Tasha, and Peter.  Any objections can be directed to our complaints department, which is just out the front door."

The game loaded quickly, and Tony scrolled through the menu and selected 4-person multiplayer.

"What button do I push?" Steve asked, examining his Wii remote closely.  Experimentally, he prodded the round one on the front.  "Something happened!  What just happened?  What did I do?  Did I break it?  Is it supposed to make that sound?"

"Just pick a character, Steve," said Natasha, rolling her eyes as she lazily scrolled her cursor over to Toad.

"It's telling me to pick a vehicle!  There's a girl in a pink dress in my corner of the screen...

"You've got to go back if you want to change your character," said Natasha slowly and calmly.

Steve pressed a button on the remote.

"I don't think it worked!" said Steve, beginning to panic as he clicked more buttons.  "It says 'OK'!  It is not 'OK'; I am not prepared for this race!  I don't think I can do this!  Bruce can take my place, Bruce - "

"Too late!" said Tony, who was staring intently at the screen.  The race was starting.  In all of his frenzied button clicking, Steve had chosen his kart and gear setting along with the others without even realizing it.  He was sporting Princess Peach on a fancy pink motorcycle.

"Oh no," Steve groaned, leaning back and resigning himself to his inevitable humiliation.  He wasn't going down without a fight, however.

"Really, Tony?  Bowser's Castle, on Steve's first try?" said Natasha, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Steve cried.  "Why?  Is this bad?  Why wouldn't this be a good race?  Nat?"

"He'll be fine," dismissed Tony with a wave of his hand, turning back to the screen as it began to count down to their start.  At the buzzer, Tony, Peter, and Natasha were off with a bang, while Steve was left behind to grapple with his controller.  Bruce leaned over and helped him figure out which buttons would make the engine start.

                They were barely halfway through their first lap when Steve jumped about a foot in the air, throwing his controller in shock, which ended up hitting Loki in the forehead.

"What just happened?  The controller started shaking!"

"It's supposed to do that, Cap," said Bruce gently, grimacing apologetically at Loki when he picked the controller off of the god's lap and handed it back to Steve, who was regarding it warily.  "It vibrates when you get hit by a shell or use a certain power, or something."

"Oh." Steve accepted the controller, turning it over in his hands as he tried to figure out which way was right side up.  He glanced up at Loki who was pointedly ignoring them all.  "Sorry about that, by the way.  It was about 90% involuntary - "

"Heads up!" Peter yelled as his motorcycle smashed into the back of Steve's Princess Peach bike from behind as he lapped him, sending Steve's kart tumbling to the side of the track and careening off into the lava.  Tony was right on Peter's tail, Natasha having passed more stealthily several moments before.

Natasha managed to claim the first place spot in the first race by carefully throwing a banana peel in front of Tony's kart just feet from the finish line.  Peter flew in next at second, and Tony managed a respectable fourth place.  Steve was in the expected twelfth.

Peter was allowed the honor of picking the next race, and he scrolled through the possible choices with his tongue between his teeth before finally deciding on "the one where you jump from mushroom to mushroom."

"What?" said Tasha, at the same time Tony asked, "You mean Mushroom Gorge?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," replied Peter, selecting the race on the screen.  "The one where you jump from mushroom to mushroom."

Peter won that one, his Yoshi celebrating enthusiastically on the screen, and Natasha chose Toad's Factory as the next race.

This race was relatively uneventful, and Tony shot past the finish line into first place.  Steve surprised everyone, especially himself, by finishing in ninth.  He was rewarded with cheers and high fives from everyone, excluding Loki, and stared at the screen with an awed smile on his face.

Steve didn't do so well in the next race, however, as Tony picked Wario's Gold Mine.  When they entered the mine and the bats few out and hit their carts, Steve screamed and dropped his controller, covering his face with his hands.  Bruce soothed him with a hand on his shoulder, silently handing the controller back.

Tony won this race, winning him first place overall in the round.  It took several well-aimed whacks with throw pillows, but they did eventually manage to get him to stop gloating.  Mostly.


	3. Round 2

"I have chosen the warrior named "Mario" for this journey," Thor declared as they set up for the next round.  Since Tony won the first round, he insisted on going again, along with Clint, Bruce, and Thor.

"You know, Thor, I think you're the only person I know who's ever actually had Mario as their first choice," said Tony, amused.  Thor seemed quite puzzled by this.

"But that seems quite illogical!  Does thee jest me, Tony Stark?  For the title of this game is "Mario Kart," is it not?  It seems to me that this "Mario" would be the one best suited for this journey!"

"You know, he does have a point," said Bruce, looking vaguely impressed by Thor's reasoning.

Tony chose King Boo again, and Clint selected Dry Bones, muttering "I've always wondered what actually makes Dry Bones' bones so dry."

Everyone was a bit confused by Bruce's choice of driver.

"Really, Bruce?" said Natasha, trying not to laugh.  "Toadette?"

Bruce shrugged, slightly indignantly.

"It's a perfectly reasonable choice," he began to explain.  "Toadette is classified as a small driver, which means that her karts will be much more agile - "

"Are we just ignoring the fact that you turn into a giant green rage monster when you get angry?" Tony interrupted.  "I mean, come on.  You should have picked Bowser.  Or I would have even been okay with Luigi, because he's green, at least."

"Toadette's vehicles have high acceleration and good off-road stat!" Bruce protested, stubbornly crossing his arms and refusing to change his character.  Tony sighed as he began the race, glancing over at Bruce every so often and shaking his head in silent disappointment.

Bruce got the honor of choosing the first race.  He selected Moo Moo Meadows, which went surprisingly well - excluding Thor's detours to puzzle over "the strange Midgardian milk-producing creatures."

Tony chose Coconut Mall, where again Thor was the main source of entertainment for the others.  Thor ended up driving in frantic circles around the fountain, water shooting up from the top.

"If this fountain so closely resembles the end of the Bifrost, then why am I not being transported?  Ay, I should be given a faster path, because of my innovation!" Thor exclaimed.

"Is anyone else getting déjà vu from that time we took Thor shopping?" Peter muttered under his breath.

Clint's track of choice was Maple Treeway, a common favorite.

Steve raised an eyebrow at the screen.

"This is the biggest damn tree I've ever seen in my life."

"This is what it's like in Canada," said Tony as he drove through a pile of maple leaves and they exploded around his car like confetti with a little _poof._ "Except instead of caterpillars walking around, there are moose."

"There are not even trees this large in Asgard," Thor agreed, frowning as he saw the giant caterpillars.  "Nor are there insects so grand."

By the time those three rounds were over, Clint was beating Tony two to one, with Bruce getting generally decent scores.  Thor probably would have done quite well if he hadn't kept getting distracted.

Thor chose Mario Circuit for the final round, to no one's surprise.  Nobody had the heart to tell him that he probably didn't have a better chance of winning just because he was playing as Mario.

They all took off at the sound of the starting buzzer, the main competition to watch in this round pretty clearly being Tony and Clint.

"This palace reminds me fondly of Asgard," declared Thor, pausing at the side of the track to admire the stone castle which was part of the scenery.  "Though far smaller, and not nearly as grand."  Thor tried to drive his kart forward, but couldn't advance any further past the fence at the edge of the track.  "Why may I not enter the palace?" he demanded, voice rising.  "I am a king;  I should be graciously welcomed!"

"It's not real, Thor, oh my god..." muttered Natasha, rolling her eyes.

"I am aware that I am a god!" Thor retorted, lowering his controller to his lap to glare at Natasha.

"Shut up, both of you," Tony growled, swerving to avoid a strategically placed banana peel, his concentration focused on the screen.

Bruce was feeling much less competitive than Tony or Clint, and he pulled over to the side of the track by the stretch of grass that preceded the tunnel where the Chain Chomp was tethered.

"You know, I feel kind of bad for this guy," he said thoughtfully, which earned him a couple of eye-rolls.  He ignored them.

At that moment, Clint hit the back of Bruce's kart with a red shell, laughing loudly as he passed the scientist.

“HOLLA, sucks for you, my brotha!” he yelled.

Bruce glanced at Clint in irritation as he started his engine again, refusing to reply.  However, the attack had pushed Bruce's kart into the reach of the Chain and he was promptly attacked by it.

"He ain't no holla back girl, Clint," Peter quipped, while shaking with laughter to himself.  All of the Avengers stared confusedly at him, apart from Tony and Clint, who were completely engrossed in the race.

"Sorry, pop culture reference.  I forgot all of you were old."

"I'm not old!  I've been taking college classes, and I fit right in!" Steve defended himself.  The group groaned in unison at Steve's second mention of his community college classes.

"Getting back to the point, you really don't need to gloat, you know," Bruce grumbled to Clint, as Tony kicked Clint hard in the leg to try to make him swerve onscreen.  Clint kicked out his leg to get Tony back, eyes still trained on the screen, and ended up kicking Loki instead.

"You fool!" Loki shouted, standing up and towering over Clint.

"Dude!  Move!" Tony yelled, as he was unable to see the screen around Loki's cape.

Peter got up and dragged Loki back to his armchair, and Steve grabbed Peter's arm and frantically tugged him back.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" cried Peter as he fell sideways over everybody's lap.

"He's dangerous!" said Steve, glaring at Loki as everybody else grumbled at the sudden intrusion of a teenager on their laps.

"You're dangerous," Tony shot back at Steve, irritated by interruption of his concentration.

"Leave him alone..." Natasha muttered, rolling her eyes again.  "You're all idiots."

"Excuse me?" retorted Tony.

"You heard me."

"I AM STILL NOT GRANTED ENTRANCE INTO THE GRAND PALACE OF MARIO."

"Nobody cares!"

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR PUNY BRAIN, MORTAL."

"Okay, that's it..."

"God, you're all insufferable..."

"Say that to my face."

"You're insufferable!"

"You're going to die!"

"Clint, put those knives away!"

"Stop being such a little bitch."

"You're the little bitch."

"Yeah, shut up, Salt-tasha!"

Everybody stopped bickering and turned to stare at Bruce.

"What?" Peter finally said into the silence.

Tony suddenly laughed, and Bruce turned to him in relief.

"See?  Tony gets it!" said Bruce, gesturing at his friend.

"Just tell us what it meant already," said Natasha, crossing her arms.

" _Na-_ tasha... _Na_ is the periodic symbol for sodium...sodium is in salt... _Salt_ -tasha..."

Tony high-fived Bruce, but everybody else just stared at Bruce for a moment longer before shaking their heads and turning back to the game.  They had all finished their final lap (Clint edging in just ahead of Tony to steal the win), except for Thor, who was still sitting by the entrance to the castle in defeat.


	4. Chapter 4

Pepper made the mistake of walking through the lounge on her way to the conference room between rounds.

"Pepper!" Tony yelled jovially, waving his arm over his head in greeting.  "Come join us!  We're doing one last super round with everyone.  It's going to be unmatched by any game of Mario Kart ever played.  You in?"

Pepper had kept walking as Tony spoke, and she paused in the doorway and looked back over her shoulder, glancing at the heroes draped over the furniture.

"Thanks, but I'll pass."  Pepper turned to keep walking, but Tony stood up and grabbed her hand, tugging her back toward the sofa.

"Come on, Potts, it'll be fun!" he insisted, as she struggled not to drop the clipboard.

"I have to fill out _your_ forms about the new technological developments before the press release goes out tomorrow morning!" she protested halfheartedly as she was steered back into the room.

"Come on, Pepper.  I invent the technology and even I know that we haven't done anything that significant - some cleaner energy and a couple of new Iron Man Suits, at the most," Tony argued.

"Sometimes I think the write-ups are harder to do than the actual inventing," Pepper replied with a mock glare.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to _stir the Potts,_ " Tony chuckled, ushering her further into the room.  She waved awkwardly at Loki as she passed the armchair, and Tony directed Pepper so they could both collapse onto the sofa, earning groans and grumbling from the other inhabitants as they tried to shift in a way they would be comfortable.

She was met with a few smiles and mutterings of "Hey, Pepper," to which she responded likewise.  Pepper grimaced as Tony handed her a Wii remote and a steering wheel.

"I haven't played this in months..." she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, you'll do fine," Tony said distractedly as he passed out the controllers.  "Oh, and Loki's Birdo."

“Why?” asked Natasha vaguely, sprawled out over Clint's lap with her head on the wide arm of the couch.

“Nobody likes Birdo," replied Tony simply, before turning to smirk at Clint.  "Although...maybe we should let _Birdbrain_ over here be Birdo, huh?"

Clint stiffened, and Natasha shot up from her relaxed position, now leaning over Tony dangerously with a stabilizing and comforting hand on Clint's shoulder.

"You _know_ he's still sensitive about that," she hissed at Tony, "and I am _not_ going to let you drive him back into some weird sort of mental relapse because, funnily enough, I don't enjoy having to drag my boyfriend out from a nest of tablecloths once a week!"

"Ooooooh, your _boyfriend_ ," Peter began, and everyone except Thor joined in with a rousing _ooooooh._

"Has Natasha done something worthy of our taunting and mocking?" Thor questioned, his forehead wrinkling.

"Or maybe we should ask, what has she _not_ done to deserve our taunting and mocking?" Loki cut in with a wicked grin, which was met with a well-practiced eye roll and a "Shut up, Loki," from Tasha's direction.  Unperturbed, Loki turned back to Thor, loftily giving the rest of his explanation.  "The humans enjoy mocking each other for their basic evolutionary need to pair up."

"I learned in my community college classes that evolution, invented by Charles Darwin on the Galapagos Islands, is very important to human development," Steve interjected.

"Uh, actually, only half of that was right.  Charles Darwin merely recognized..." Bruce began.

"You Midgardians, with your mistaken ideas of development!  You all choose to believe one man named Charles because he proclaims himself omniscient?  It is taught in your so-called communal college classes that he invented the human race on an island!" Thor declared haughtily.

"None of that is true!  Steve was only half right, and..." Bruce argued.

"Foolish be the Midgardians who believe such thoughtless drabble," Thor muttered to himself, shaking his head in disappointment.

The Avengers considered trying to explain the theory of evolution to Thor, but decided to simply give up on the argument and select their characters.  Tony stared intently at the screen before deciding on King Boo again.  Clint didn't appear too bothered by Tony's previous remarks, but he allowed Tasha to continue to comfort him on the long passed remarks as he silently selected Dry Bones from the screen.

Steve was confused again.

 “Wait, what just happened?”

“Looks like you ended up with Princess Peach again, Steve.”

"How do I keep doing that?!" cried Steve, holding the controller up in front of his eyes and examining it closely, turning it over in his hands.

Even with the screen modified to split into nine different sections, each person's section was somehow still plenty big enough.

"Who gets to pick first?" Natasha asked, fiddling absently with her steering wheel.

"Let's let Loki pick first," suggested Peter eagerly, sitting up.  "He hasn't even gotten to play yet."

Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Pepper interrupted before he could speak.

"Why don't you take advice from someone other than yourself for once?" she suggested with a ghost of a smirk.  Pepper turned to look at Loki with a friendlier expression.

"Go on, Loki, you've got this one."

Loki stared between Pepper and Peter for a moment in apparent surprise, before inclining his head slightly in gratitude.

"Thank you, Ms. Potts.  Young Parker."

Peter looked absolutely gleeful, while Pepper reclined back onto the couch with a smug expression.

Since Bruce was sitting the closest to Loki, he leaned over and helped the god figure out the controller.  Loki certainly learned much more quickly than Steve had.  Tony stared around at his friends accusatorily; he didn't seem to enjoy the fact that they were being cordial to his enemy in Tony's own house.

Loki chose DK's Snowboard Cross as the first race.  There was a slight tension in the air, hinting that there was going to be some very difficult competition in this round.  Tony and Clint were winning with one round each, but Peter and Natasha were certainly good enough to steal this round in sudden death and take it all.

The race began smoothly, and it wasn't until halfway through everyone's second lap (and the end of Steve's first) until someone let out a bark of derisive laughter.

"Loki, you didn't tell us you were homesick!" Natasha said, glancing over at Loki while skillfully avoiding Clint's dropped banana peel onscreen.

Loki's eyes flicked over to Natasha, raising a slim eyebrow.

"Whatever jesting could you be hinting at?" he sighed heavily, lazily steering his kart as he spoke.  Tony quickly caught on.

 "Missing the cold weather from your home planet, are you?" Tony laughed, and Clint sniggered from his corner of the sofa.  Pepper frowned disapprovingly, but was too focused on the game to respond.

"No," Loki pouted, sinking further down in his armchair.  They passed the point on the track where the strange creatures were doing snowboarding tricks ,and Loki rolled his eyes.  "Anyway, this is nothing like Jotunheim," he grumbled.

At the end of the final lap, Tony was just about to coast smugly into first place when a green turtle shell flew straight into the back of his motorcycle.  His bike was just landing back on the track when a bright yellow car streaked across the finish line in front of him.

"What the hell was that?!" Tony cried, throwing down his steering wheel after managing to slide into third place, staring around at the other players.  Those who had finished were looking at him with bemused expressions, except for Pepper, who was calmly watching her screen where Rosalina was dancing about in victory.  The rest of the group followed Tony's shocked gaze, some of their mouths dropping open as soon as they realized who had just beat Tony at his own game.

Things were definitely getting interesting.

They raced through Koopa Cape and Delfino Square next, Pepper sliding smoothly into first place each time.  She was receiving more incredulous glances and impressed smiles from the other players, as Tony sulked.

It was an unspoken agreement that Rainbow Road would be the final race and ultimately determine the winner of the tournament.  Steve had basically given up once he saw the thin, twisting rainbow track suspended in outer space - without guardrails, for that matter - but was willing to give it a fighting chance.

The race was a heated one, with Tony, Natasha, Clint, and Pepper all battling for first place at the front.  Consequently, this made them the main target for most of the turtle shells, so they were thrown back to around the middle of the race at the beginning of the second lap.

Thor and Loki had gotten to the front, and were hurtling neck and neck down the narrow rainbow road.  Loki was concentrating on getting in the lead, and Thor was far too noble a player to try to knock Loki over the edge of the road.

However, they soon reached a hairpin turn in the road, and as a result of Thor's wide turn, he accidentally hit the front of Loki's kart, which sent Loki spinning off the side of the road and over the edge.  The two gods froze, staring at Loki's screen where Birdo was hurtling down into space, unreachable.

Suddenly, Thor had thrown his controller out of his hands and lunged over to crush Loki in a hug, who remained completely impassive, arching an eyebrow at his brother.

"BROTHER!  I AM SORRY I EVER LET YOU FALL!  YOU DID NOT DESERVE THAT!  YOU ARE GOOD AND YOU ARE MY BROTHER AND I SHALL HAVE RAILINGS INSTALLED ON BIFROST IMMEDIATELY!"

It was quite a ridiculous sight, the large armor-clad god clutching onto the other, who was awkwardly patting the top of Thor's head with the arm that wasn't pinned against his side in the confining embrace and  looking for all the world as if he would rather be anywhere else but there.  Thor and Loki's karts sat idly on Rainbow Road as they were ignored by the rest of the Avengers, who were all concentrating on winning.

The third lap ended with Pepper sailing smoothly across the finish line.  She stood up, setting down her controller and straightening her skirt, pausing only to flash a smug smile at Tony before picking up her clipboard and striding out of the room without a word.  The ones who had finished watched her go, eyebrows raised.

"You've got to hang on to that one, Stark," Natasha commented as she inched past Peter at the finish line to claim third place.  She tossed her controller down onto the floor, stretching back out across Clint's lap the best she could on the crowded sofa.

Several minutes later, the only ones who hadn't finished were Thor and Loki, Thor having finally let go of Loki as they did their best to look manly again.  The rest of them had even watched Steve inch his way around the course three times and finish in a spectacular tenth place, to which they had all cheered.

"Guys, I have to be at the lab at three, do you think we could move this along a little?" said Bruce finally, checking his watch and glancing over at the gods.

Thor and Loki looked at each other for a long moment, before they both nodded once and turned to the others.

"We shall cross the final boundary together," Thor declared, picking up their controllers and handing one to Loki, who accepted it solemnly.

"Oh, for the love of..." Natasha muttered, rolling her eyes.  Everyone else watched the screen with a mix of skeptical and amused expressions.

The two brothers drove steadily through their final lap and a half, staying as close to the other's side as possible.  They approached the finish line, rolling over the checkered barrier together.

And Thor came in eleventh place.

The Avengers waited with baited breath.  Loki turned his accusatory glare to Thor, before throwing down his controller and rising to his feet in a wave of fury.

"I trusted you!" he yelled as Birdo wept onscreen in defeat.  "I should have known that you would trick me for your own gain!  And you believe yourself to be noble and virtuous?"

Thor's eyes were wide, and he also rose to his feet as he struggled to console Loki.  "No, brother, you do not understand!  I had no intention of conspiring against you!  I was by your side the whole time, you know that!"

"And why should I believe you?" Loki snarled, crossing his arms and turning away from Thor in a huff.

"Dude, look," interrupted Tony, standing up.  "I hate to interrupt your little family discussion here, but the game doesn't accept ties."

"I am no family of his!" retorted Loki, and everyone groaned.

"Nobody cares," intoned Clint from his corner of the sofa.

"I care!" quipped Peter, but this was largely ignored.

"Can we maybe try not to end today with a fight?" Steve asked loudly, knowing even as he did so that this was incredibly unlikely.


	5. Epilogue

"Okay, who's up for some Wii bowling?" Tony asked casually, standing up and stretching his arms over his head.

"NO!" everyone yelled in unison, staring at him with wide eyes and frightened expressions.

"Tony, we vowed never to bowl as a group never again, or in any smaller combinations thereof," Steve reminded him firmly.

"The contract is filed upstairs, if you need to have a second look at it," added Bruce, crossing his arms.

"But this isn't even real bowling!  It's a video game!" Tony cried, staring after them in dismay as the rest of the inhabitants of the mansion walked out into the hall, one by one.  "Peter!  Even you?"

Peter shrugged, giving Tony an apologetic smile over his shoulder in the doorway.

"Sorry.  But there is no way I am going through that again."

Tony stood in the middle of the room, staring after his departed friends sadly, when the silence was interrupted by the soft clearing of a throat from behind him.  Tony turned to see Loki, still sitting in his substitute for a throne, even when everyone else had left.

"Yeah?  And what do you want?" Tony asked, sneering at him out of habit.

Loki's carefully blank expression morphed briefly into an affronted grimace before he managed to smooth it back out again.

"What is this idiotic 'bowling' game you mortals speak of?" he asked, throwing as much disdain as he could into the word.

"Only the most grand and honorable sport ever invented," Tony shot back, collapsing back onto the now-empty sofa and glaring at Loki.

"Somehow I doubt that," replied Loki coolly.  "Why did they all run away like fearful peasants?"

Tony sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"Honestly, they've just got to realize that most of it was probably just a coincidence, and there's probably not that much fire every time we go bowling together..."

"So, Tony Stark," said Loki, regarding Tony carefully.  "Do you believe yourself to be quite skilled in this particular test of human honor?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty good," replied Tony, regarding Loki just as carefully.

"Good enough to beat a god?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you perceive it as such."

They stared at each other for a moment, and the corner of Tony's mouth lifted almost unnoticeably.

"Alright, then," Tony said, grabbing two Wii remotes and tossing one to Loki before turning back to the huge television screen.  "You're on."


End file.
